Johnny Cantrell Obituary Johnny Dean Cantrell was born on January 15, 1948, to J.D. and Alma Cantrell of Floydada. He was their only child but that doesn't mean he didn't have a lot of family who loved him. He was a favorite of his grandparents and the many aunts and uncles he had on each side of his family all spoiled him. He had numerous family members who were close to his age and they were basically his siblings while growing up. There are many stories of the mischief they all got into as they played and had fun during his childhood. He started dating the love of his life, Nona Pernell, in his senior year of high school and they were married on October 13, 1967. Jay was born January 31st three years later and Jamey was born on Johnny's birthday in 1974. They moved to Brownfield in 1978 and remained there until both boys graduated from high school. Here is where he enjoyed some of the best times and made some of the best friends of his life. While most remembrances are full of hyperboles extolling the unparalleled virtues of the departed, today we're going to be honest. Unfortunately, not all marriages are happily ever after and he ended up moving to Lubbock after his boys were grown. Over the years he began isolating himself more and more from his family until he ended up being homeless and living on the streets for the last several years of his life. Johnny Dean was a great son and family member. He would also take advantage of the kindness of those who loved him. Johnny was a loving and doting husband. He was also very difficult to live with. Johnny was a great father who loved his sons more than anything. He also made them question how important they were to him because they couldn't fill the hole inside him that ate away at him a little more each day. Johnny Dean was all of these things because he battled addiction for most of his adult life. He was essentially two people: when he was sober he was an amazing person who you couldn't help but love. When he wasn't, he drove everyone away from him because the alcohol clouded his mind and caused him to treat people poorly so that he could feed his addiction. Johnny had essentially isolated himself from his family since early 2014. At first, this wasn't a cause for concern because he would sometimes disappear for weeks at a time but would always seem to call or otherwise make contact just often enough to let everyone know he was okay. He didn't want to be a burden to anyone and he felt like he had made so many mistakes that there was no way anyone could still want him in their lives. But as the days stretched into months, the worry inside them grew and they wondered if they would ever see him again. Sometime in September of 2014, Johnny suffered a stroke that left the right side of his body paralyzed. He couldn't talk, feed himself, or otherwise take care of himself. For the most part his mental faculties were left intact but he couldn't remember any of his family's phone numbers so he had no way to contact anyone to let them know where he was. He was essentially lost to everyone on this earth who loved him, but he wasn't alone. Over the months he made physical improvements. He learned to speak and to feed himself again, but more importantly, he improved how he felt about himself because God gave him a way to get sober. He was able to let so much guilt go that he was known by the staff at the nursing home for his beautiful blue eyes and his sweet and funny disposition. During this time, all of his family had been asking God to help them find Johnny Dean but they hadn't had any luck. Since he had been lost for so long, most feared that they would just likely receive a call one day saying that he had died somewhere alone. One day in June, his Aunt Janelle and Cousin Rhonda had gone to a nursing home to see a friend who was receiving treatment there. Their friend wasn't there, but they did spot the unmistakable blue eyes, silver hair, and mischievous smile that embodied an answer to everyone's prayers. Johnny Dean had finally been found. Jamey and Maria were able to go see him soon after and although his body was weak, his mind was still the same Johnny that they remembered and loved. His voice was softer but his thoughts were lucid and clear. They talked about how much they loved each other, how proud he was of his sons, and how he was happy with where he was in life now. Jamey had the opportunity to tell him that he didn't ruin his or Jay's lives, how proud he was to have Johnny as a father, that he wouldn't trade him for another dad even if he could, and that all anyone wanted was for him to be happy. They talked about getting him a tablet so that he could start reading again since he couldn't hold a book or newspaper or turn a page on his own. They talked about moving him closer to Jamey so that he could visit him more often. For the first time in decades, Johnny was talking about plans for the future and how he looked forward to spending more time with the ones he loved. But our timeline and our plans aren't the one that matter. God had answered prayers and given time we never thought we would have. We were given the peace of mind that he wasn't cold and hungry, that he wasn't alone, and that he wasn't drinking himself to death in an effort to silence the constant internal criticism. Five days after Jamey's visit, Johnny suffered another stroke that left him with injuries he couldn't recover from. He was eventually transferred to hospice and within twenty-four hours he was gone. He slipped away peacefully, he wasn't alone out on the streets, his family was by his side, and for that we will always be grateful. Like we said earlier, we're going to be honest today. Johnny Dean's life is not about addiction. It is a big part of it and something that he would have gladly changed on his own if he could. His life is about forgiveness – for others and for self. He could never forgive himself for destroying his marriage and losing the love of his life. He could never forgive himself for driving a wedge between himself and his sons and their families. He could never forgive himself for failing his parents and all those aunts, uncles, and cousins by not being successful and for not being the man he thought they expected him to be. But all of these transgressions existed only in his mind. Nona forgave him. Jay and Jamey forgave him. Aunt Jonnie, Janelle, Rhonda, and every other family member and friend had forgiven him. There was only one person who couldn't forgive him and that was Johnny Dean himself. This guilt plagued him and although he never truly forgave himself for some things, he learned to accept himself and was happier in those last few months than he had been in the previous twenty years of his life. Johnny is survived by his oldest son Jay and his wife Lara of Brownfield and their six children: Joe, A.J., Willy, Tino, Lynlee, and Kanyon; his youngest son Jamey and his wife Maria of Lavon and their two children: Jordyn and Mariana; Aunts Jonnie and Janelle. He was preceded in death and welcomed into heaven by his Grandparents, parents, most of his aunts and uncles, several cousins, and a few loyal friends like Jackie Roberts. He will be missed by those he left behind but he is at peace now. His family hopes that Johnny Dean's story will inspire those who have issues with alcohol, drugs, or any other addiction to seek the help that they need, encourage us all to forgive others, motivate you to give yourself the forgiveness you deserve, and most of all show you that no matter what the circumstances, you never give up on family because no matter how lost you or they might be, there's no one else on this earth who will never stop looking for you. Services

Memorial Service Monday July 20, 2015 11:00 AM Agape Funeral Chapel